You are currently browsing the monthly archive for February 2008.
Maybe it was my SAT score…
Despite my parent’s standards of education, I was always disciplined to be a good, scholastic kid.
SAT’s were 800 out of 1600. I’ve heard that you get 600 points just for signing your name. My mom thought it was a perfect score. Averages I kept hearing were 1053 or 1356. Deep inside I knew I didn’t score high. I felt like I failed. For the first time, I felt disgust with myself. Was I ready for a 4-year college? Or was I not applying myself properly?
I may never know. But early on enough, I needed to find out. I had enough time to find out.
I was a nerd. I loved school. I was an above average student. I worked hard at it because my parents made me. Standards are very high in my family. I don’t know about you but I’m Filipino. Scholastically, as a witness of first generation Filipino-American, scholastic excellence is above all in a Filipino family. We strive to have honor and discipline. But something in my heritage wants me to get up and galavant.
It’s part of our culture. It’s part of my history and the histories of a lot of Southern California Flips. Where am I going with this?
So yea, after 800 I decided to become a designer.
Well low and behold, I prayed and hoped for word on scholarship and today I get a postcard informing me that the Scholarship Committee has reviewed my application and I should be getting word within the next month or so.
Boy, they kind of make this process a tedious one don’t they? Almost like hoping and praying and waiting. haha Maybe it’s just me. I’ve been wanting to contact them regarding a loan anyway. I should do that tonight. I was beginning to worry that they forgot that I applied in the first place. I’m glad they have this process to inform me of my progress in getting in.
What I didn’t anticipate was this constant waiting and anxiety that comes with the anticipation. I’m trying to hold my composure as much as I can with family, friends, and colleagues. I’ve told a select few of my progress only because I don’t want to make a big deal of it. I mean, what if I decide that I don’t want to go back to school after all? What then? I would have officially announced shit that didn’t have to happen in the first place.
Patience is a virtue, I guess. Yada yada yada…
I got accepted. Good. The easy part is over.
I am glad it’s over! Lord knows how stressed I became waiting for that letter in the mail. Or perhaps NO letter in the mail. Or worse – rejection. But I am extremely grateful and thankful that the board at Art Center deemed my work worthy of recognition and study at their prestigious establishment. Getting the letter was a thrill. I wouldn’t give up that moment for the world.
However, I do have to look at reality. Although yes, I’m proud that I had the courage to apply to the school – the hard part is just underway.
Now I have to think about expenses for the next 4 years. A financial burden I wsa not ready to deal with in moving back home with my parents. I had hoped that I would save enough money to get a fresh start as early as possible. I have yet to save enough money to pay off the debt that I’ve incurred! I’m so mad at myself for that.
The bright side is that at least I got my shit together enough to FINALLY do something and take care of my education. After 10 years, I’m finally taking some sort of risk in life. It’s funny how it works. I guess this is the only way that this could have happened. All for the good I guess.
For now, I’m just waiting on word regarding scholarship. I hope I get SOME money to alleviate the financial burden. If not, then I don’t think that I could go. I would seriously have to reconsider.
