I think the automatic doors at Art Center don’t open for you when they sense that you’re a failure. For the first time ever at school, I had to practically force a door to swing open. It comes as no surprise as due to my failure at time management that I failed to turn in my mid-term project for Design 2.

Admittedly, I was smug in assuming that all would go well in the design and print. However, it never fails to take into consideration Murphy’s Law in scenarios like this. My printer broke. And although tragic, it is really no excuse. Let this be a lesson to myself, for the millionth time, to never do shit at the last minute. I felt like I not only let myself down, but also my instructor and classmates (who I know they themselves struggled to get this project out the door) as well.

I had the courage to personally tell my instructor, Jon, that I didn’t have the project done. At his suggestion, and in the confidence that this indeed would not happen again, I attended class anyway. My grade would be reduced because of the missed assignment. I told him that that was only fair. It was weird in that I felt my shame as well as the sincere honor of seeing my classmates’ beautiful creations. It was a weird, emotional day for me. I was silent during the crits. I felt I couldn’t measure up. The experience was terrifying.

Today wasn’t the end of the world; I still have until the final to make up this class. But I was terribly disappointed in myself. With all the people that love me and believe in me–I failed. I make no excuse.