I can’t seem to get my shit together right now. Going though some sort of emotional breakdown. I’m having trouble concentrating and really just want to lay down and sleep forever. I have some fight, but I can’t seem to bring myself to raise my arms. I’ve been wondering lately if I’m ready to do this, if I really want to do this, and a slew of real self-doubt. I’ve experienced this before, and I’m a little shell-shocked at how I’m reacting to this stress right now.

I just had a grand-aunt (or great-aunt) pass away in San Diego. I don’t know if this whole family loss is effecting me or not. It’s brought on a real appreciation for my mom and dad though as I spent the past weekend with them. It’s been a ride with this term so far and it’s almost over. I just don’t want to fuck it all up and let myself down. I’m really tired and really feel like giving up right now. It sucks. This feeling always sucks. I’m just looking for something to believe in. And if not me, who?

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