Who died and made you leader?

I’ve never considered myself a leader. Yet many times I find myself in precarious situations whether by default or otherwise in that defacto role. I find no pleasure in dealing with the politics in these particular situations, and usually find myself in agony, worrying. To be honest, I would rather sleep better. In every situation, I wish I had the magic words in order to “make everything better.” Other times I feel unappreciated and taken advantage of because I have a big heart and care too deeply about the personal situations at hand and the people that I am helping, contributing and collaborating with.

For our class in Branding Strategies, we have to create a trash can (yes, a trash can) based on the brand we have chosen. Our group took on the huge task of choosing Coca Cola. We have spent the past three weeks analyzing what the brand means, the design, and other aspects leading up to the final project. Unfortunately along the way my team mates have hit a snag in their relationship and I am forced to become the mediator between them. It’s not been easy for the past several hours, and I’m feeling pessimistic that we’ll be able to finish on time. Despite my personal feeling that this project should have been assigned at the beginning of the class in order to allow more preparation and better craft, it has added to the need for urgency of getting a project and proposal done; a familiar feeling that I’ve experienced before and will again later. Up until now, I thought school has been rather tough, but now it’s ramping up to be a lot tougher in these last three weeks of the term.

In other news, I have to prepare for my fourth term review despite all the work I have to do for the other classes. God, I am really not looking forward to anything at all about this week. One side of me just wants to say fuck it. Actually, ALL OF ME wants to say fuck it! But for some crazy reason, I have to push on. I have to keep going. I have to prove to myself that I’m worth this; that I’m worth my future.

I’m praying that I can get through these next few weeks. God knows it’s going to be the craziest.

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