The Meloncholy Day After Easter

I’ve come to some broad epiphanies about my time here at school.

Mine is designed to simulate a real-life working environment. The biggest redemption is that I am allowed to fuck up; this is the only time I’ll get to do it. Grading doesn’t define my intelligence. My philosophy doesn’t match others’ philosophies. School is the only time I’ll ever have to immerse myself in the content and context of my craft. It’s about the work and work ethic. It’s artful. It’s life. School is a complete mind fuck. And it’s fun and hell. My reasons for returning to school are selfish. I think I’ve made school too much of my home for too long. It’s time to graduate and move on. I could never clearly defend why school was important to me if someone asked. I’m seeing it from another perspective now and it’s starting to make some kind of sense. I promised myself I would not take it for granted. Yet, somewhere along the way, I did. Like I said, I’m allowed to fuck up. I’m returning to school after taking a leave to intern in the entertainment industry as a designer and art director, and somewhere along the way starting up a small agency. Three more weeks and I return to school in hopes of going through it straight and hopefully graduating this year. My portfolio stinks, but stinks with promise. It’s going to take work and new work to make it my best. Unfortunately, updating my portfolio has not been on my mind recently. I just started thinking about grad show tonight. Ha! Wish me luck…

On a personal note, I quit smoking for good. I coughed up some tar the other day which was fucking gross. I’m surprised I’m still breathing. So somewhere up there, someone likes me, and decided I should stick around a little bit more. Started running somewhat, but need to take it more seriously. I even shaved my head.

Fuck…lot’s on my plate right now.

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